Netflix Is Making A ‘Stretch Armstrong’ Series – You Know, For Kids
I have a singleStretch Armstrongmemory. Many years ago, I was given a Stretch Armstrong toy that, according to the commercials, could stretch and bend in all kinds of ways before returning to his regular shape. I played with it for about 45 minutes and then it broke and splattered a strange, horrible goo all over the floor. I then hid the broken toy and promptly forgot about Stretch Armstrong for a long, long time.
Butsomeonein Hollywood seems to have fond memories of this toy because they won’t stop trying to bring it to the screen in some capacity. After years of development hell that rival the difficulties facing the still-unmadeMasters of the Universemovie,Stretch Armstronghas landed at a new home: as a kid-friendly series onNetflix.
Deadlinereports that theStretch Armstrongseries will join a larger wave of new content aimed at Netflix’s younger users, which is a decision that makes a lot of sense. After all, modern toddlers know how to navigate the world’s most popular streaming service before they’ve learned who to actually be proper human beings. And Andy Yeatman, Director of Global Kids Content for Netflix, claims that the young ‘uns account for half of the service’s users:
Stretch Armstrongwill be one of several live action series aimed at the pre-teen set. Its companions include the musicalLalaloopsyand the science fiction seriesThe Greenhouse. Here’s how Deadline describes theStretch Armstrongseries:
If you just now started racking your brain in a foolish attempt to remember whether or not that description lines up with the Stretch Armstrong mythology… don’t bother. There is no Stretch Armstrong mythology. Unlike theTransformersand He-Man, this guy never got his own animated series to build out his supporting cast and send him on various adventures. He was simply a toy and a toy alone, which makes Hollywood’s attempts to bring him to life all the more baffling.
And their attempts have been baffling for a long time. Back in 2009, aStretch Armstrongmoviewas announced for 2011, with Ron Howardsupposedly directing. In 2010, Taylor Lautner (remember him?)was cast in the title role. Soon, the filmwas bumped to 2012and Nicolas Stollercame on boardto pen the screenplay. In 2012,Lautner dropped out and the film was pushed to 2014. That same year sawnew writersand anew director, but the whole thingwas dead by 2013. In other words,Stretch Armstrongfilm has been a bad idea for about seven years now. Honestly, a Netflix series for children is the best possible solution to this entire debacle.
The most cinematic the Stretch Armstrong character has ever been is this awful commercial that will make you ’90s kids flash back to a very different time:
